I am left to ask myself if I am really here pondering this year,
Or am I just a question quivering in fear?
Could I have stood my ground?
Or would there be another me shrinking down
into an abyss of misery still?
Would it be my will to stay that way or could I rise up and face another day,
had you gone the other way?
Being we are so intertwined....
I find it hard to unwind the answers that coil up inside
our bodies, soul and mind
and even though you are far away in miles
you are sitting with me all the while, in a small chair, close to my heart
and we talk every minute as though we're not apart....
If you had said no. And chosen to go...
Would that chair be empty still
or filled by an impostor ignoring your nameplate?
But the question I am postulating is not about love
or rightful ownership of chairs....
It's about me and who I am there
sitting beside you.
What am I made of?
Would I be okay now, if you had left me, love?
A fierce cry within me hollers yes!
But the real me...
the real me knows best.
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